1:30 A.M.

From the now-defunct studiesinwords.de.

Shot of Buffy and Tara sitting on the sofa next to each other. They look at each other, then away.

BUFFY: (softly, speaking to the floor) I'm sorry...you have to go through all of this.

TARA: You don't have to worry about me.

BUFFY: Everybody wants to help. (Tara looks at her) I don't even know if I'm...here. (Tara looks away) I don't know what's going on. Never done this. (pauses) That's just an amazingly dumb thing to say. Obviously...I've never done this before.

Beat.

TARA: (softly) I have.

Buffy looks over at her.

TARA: My mother died when I was seventeen.

(cut some stuff)

Buffy looks back up at Tara.

BUFFY: Was it sudden?

TARA: What?

BUFFY: Your mother.

TARA: No. (thinks) And…yes. (pauses) It's always sudden.

Rest in peace, grandma.

Maturity

So, I'm driving Patrick back to the house after visiting grandma last night. My mom stayed there because grandpa was really freaked out (it's looking like it'll be sometime this week), so I took Patrick to dinner. He was really upset, saying he didn't want grandma to "go" -- she had been talking about how she was ready before she went to sleep.

We drove through McDonald's, and as we were turning up towards the house, out of the blue, he says, "Grandma was right."

"About what?" I asked. There's a strange resignation in his tone.

"I don't like seeing her like this. She should go." Now, he's sad and choked up when he says it, but he's utterly serious. He doesn't want her to suffer, and he is ready to let her go so that she doesn't have to.

This is my brother, ladies and gentlemen. Disabilities or not, let no one say he doesn't understand what's really important in life.

I Could Put a Cheesy 80s Song Quote Here

But, then, Leo already did that last week. :-)

So, today went pretty well -- which, if we go by last week's mood-swinginess, means tomorrow will be crazy, crazy, crazy....

Tomorrow, by the way, I have A.'s triennial, which I just finished writing. I always like how I think I have no goals planned, and then I just start writing them and don't stop.

As of a few hours ago, my grandpa was awaiting the arrival of a hospital bed at home, then grandma will be transferred home for hospice care. Supposedly, some doctor says it might be a week or less, but then, I remember several times when it was a matter of a day or two for my great-grandma, so I figure we'll just wait and see.

But (like I haven't said this enough), never, ever smoke.

If you've started, chew five pieces of the gum an hour if you have to, but quit.

Emphysema is not fun.

It's especially not fun if all your other faculties are in order, and you know exactly how miserable you are.

Update

First, let me say...the Cowboy Combo at Applebees is very yummy. Had that for dinner last night.

New developments for the day:

• my aunt is visiting from New Mexico. I hope she came up with a good excuse, or grandma might think things are really, really dire. But my family is not known for its emotional prowess, particularly that branch of it, so I bet they just let it slide.
• my mother got one of her funny heartbeats, so we just hung out at our respective places today.
• there is nothing on TV, and I am left watching The Santa Clause 2 on Starz-Whatever-It-Is.
• I really don't want it to be Monday already, but have little choice in the matter.

You know, I had some other profound thought, but since I have no idea what it was, I'll leave it for some other post.

Happy Sunday.