So, having waited patiently for my affidavit to come from BofA regarding the $1200 charge on my account that I didn't make, I called today to check why it still wasn't in the mail.
I tried four numbers, all of which had been given to me in this process as "faster" and "more direct." None of them worked. One even took me to an Apple credit account I had written a letter to close something like three years ago.
What I finally did was call their general "lost or stolen" line, and then had them transfer me through three more people, where I was asked repeatedly, "So you've never done business with this merchant before?"
"No," I said (repeatedly).
"It says here your card was swiped."
"I know," I said. "That's what everyone else told me too. But I don't know what to tell you other than: I didn't do it; and, it's not physically possible to get from Santa Clarita's Borders to Fresno, where the charge was made (not to mention collecting $1200 of building supplies to pay FOR) in half an hour."
So, he read me an affidavit over the phone, which I agreed to, and then said the money would be back in my account tonight. They will send me the paper affidavit, plus possibly requests for other information, and if I don't send it back, the money comes back out.
But at least it's kinda solved, though I'm peeved that this was a "we can mostly take care of this over the phone" kind of thing that took nearly 3 weeks to resolve.