Headdesk...

...which is Internet slang, of course, for, "D'oh!"

So, I'm reading this perfectly lovely piece of smushy fluff (yeah, yeah), by this mostly literate author (I can't read any other kind anymore; in my early days online, I read everything, but now...), and...I....

"Blah blah blah, then all visages of sleep left."

NO.  No, no, no, no-ity, no!

Visage = appearance (his ancient visage = his old face).

Vestige = stuff left over (vestigial organs = organs that are left over that used to be important and aren't anymore).

You meant "vestiges of sleep."

As on, all little itty bits and pieces of sleepiness went away.

Threw me right out of the moment, it did.

The Question

Since before your sun burned hot in space, and before your race was born, I have awaited a question. -- The Guardian of Forever

Maybe the Guardian could solve this dilemma for me. Which event to try and summarize in a single sentence (my favorite of this year is summing Stalin up with, "On blah blah blah, Russia's mean leader Josef Stalin died."):

• The Taiping Rebellion?
• The Treaty of Versailles?
• Legalized gambling in Nevada?
• Televised Academy Awards?
• Sarajevo reuniting?
• The start of the Iraq War (Version 2.0)?
• Or Mahmoud Abbas becoming Prime Mister of Palestine?

In a way, I prefer boring days. It's easier to summarize boring things like, "Montana became the xth state of the United States." But these? Eesh.

For the record, since I'm asking the kids to watch the news each week for election coverage anyway, I'll probably go with the Iraq War, but...well...geesh. Depressing much?

Edited to add: While procrastinating for this decision, I did a side to side comparison of a base Mac Pro and a high-end iMac, and the iMac is nearly $1000 cheaper, all told. However, once I upgrade the components up front that I would upgrade myself later on with the Mac Pro (memory and hard drive space), the price is nearly identical. C'mon, bank account....

(Also, my computer nerd mojo has deserted me. I just now realized that ETA = Edited to Add in blog-speak. I am shamed.)

It's Darwin!

(I guess Roy Scheider's recent death put SeaQuest on the brain.  Sorry, non-fannish folks.)

However, this shows two things:

1.  I knew I liked dolphins for a reason.

2.  Dolphins are way smarter than we give them credit for.

(To be fair, apparently so are monkeys.  Someone needs to invent that glove they had in Congo -- the only cool part of the movie, to my recollection (but I only saw it once in high school, so who knows) -- so the monkeys of the world can request all the green-drop-drinks (martinis) they want.)

(It is disturbing to me that that movie is 13 years old.)

(Almost as disturbing as it is that Patrick is turning 21 years old on Monday.)

Rigid Thinking

One fairly common aspect of many cognitive disabilities is what's called rigid thinking. That's kind of a black and white absolutist view.

For instance, for Patrick, Sunday is Subway day. This is his routine. You cannot have Subway at a different Subway, nor can you have Subway on a Saturday, because it's not just about having Subway. It's about having that Subway on that day.

Or, if someone says, "Take your medicine at 4:30," you might find someone who just doesn't take it if they notice that it's 4:33.

So, today, M had diarrhea twice in two hours. We called home. Both M's parents have cognitive disabilities. Her mom asked to talk to me.

"The doctor said that the medicine we give her for her constipation could cause diarrhea."

"Oh...she started a new medicine?"

"Yeah."

"Really? When did she start it? Because she hasn't done this at school before."

"November."

Oh.

See, M's doctor probably did say it could cause diarrhea. And in M's mom's rigid thinking, if she has diarrhea, that must be the cause.

Figuring that we were all well and truly contaminated no matter what happened, I decided to compromise.

"Well, I'm not sure that's it, since this has never happened before, and she's been on it so long."

"Oh."

"But, I'll tell you what -- I'll let her stay for right now, but if she has diarrhea one more time, I'll have to send her home, because this just isn't what we've seen with M before."

"Okay."

Lo and behold....

Tech Woes

I got behind last week, while I was fighting off the insidious illness that had me flat on my back from 3:30 Friday afternoon to about 10:00 last night.

That means that I've been making today what the kids will be doing for their journals tomorrow.  Homework just got printed (fortunately, between our field trip and two short weeks, I had an excuse to make it a 2-week homework assignment).

I haven't been running this close since probably 2 years ago.  Lately, "behind" has meant "madly printing out next week's stuff Thursday evening so I can get it ready on Friday."  It's been a long time since "behind" meant "making tomorrow's journals."

But anyway.

My poor dying computer froze twice to the point of the mouse cursor not moving for five minutes twice today.  There was a POST-code-like beep (except I thought those only happened at boot-up) each time.

But that's not my main tech woe, other than it made it take way too long to get everything printed (I broke my no-school-stuff-after-8:00 rule SO hard today).

My tech woe is this, and pardon the second CAPSLOCK OF RAGE in two days.

FOR THE LOVE OF THE LORDS OF KOBOL (cough! Battlestar Galactica season 4 coming soon! cough!), I DON'T CARE IF IT'S THE PRINTER, THE PRINTER DRIVER, WRITING WITH SYMBOLS OR SOME COMBINATION OF THE THREE, OH-MY-FRAKKING-GOD WOULD YOU PLEASE PRINT THINGS CORRECTLY?!

Ahem.

In English:  When Writing With Symbols doesn't like a printer, it prints the first two lines on a page over each other.  Some mystical combination of font size changes, additional lines, and other random things sometimes help.

In all seriousness, I am now carefully weighing the various costs involved in between an iMac and Mac Pro.

iMac plusses:

* cheaper

* one piece

* purrrrty

iMac minuses:

* I would need an external DVD drive to run Writing with Symbols and Boardmaker concurrently ($$)

* I would have to buy a USB hub to connect my external hard drives PLUS the DVD drive ($)

* 2 core

* I'd have to upgrade the memory ($$)

* I'd probably upgrade the hard drive at purchase, 'cause it's harder to upgrade

Mac Pro pluses

* 8 core standard

* easy to upgrade (memory and/or hard drive space), so I can do it later myself and not pay the Apple premium

* multiple DVD drives

Mac Pro minuses

* more expensive

* I'd have to buy a monitor

      ** well, I wouldn't have to, but my measly little 15 incher would look pretty sad

At some point, I'll have to sit and do the math.  It may be that once I upgrade the iMac to the specs I'd want, the equivalent Mac Pro would be more or less the same price.

Here's hoping Sparky Jr. can hold on.

Now, about the epidemic in my class.

In my first year of teaching, we had this horrible flu bug that made the rounds among kids and adults alike for nearly a month.  Despite judicious application of hand washing, Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, etc., we just couldn't get rid of it until we had spring break and were gone for a week.

I suspect we've got that going on again.

Superhero was back today, but he wasn't here for more than an hour and a half before his fever spiked back up -- to about 102! -- and we sent him home.  Elastigirl was sick with M's stomach flu yesterday, was here for a while, then went to the doctor.  Sleeping Beauty coughed the whole way home yesterday and was gone today.  The Boss was grumpy, and I suspect she's getting it.

Oh, and Bulldozer and Mr. Voice were both warm, but not enough to show as a fever.

Yet.

Meanwhile, I'm mostly better.  I had to take a nap after school today and by 1:30 or so I was tuckered...but that was a lot better than making it to 8:15 yesterday!

Also? Memo to Safari

I love Safari.  I really do.

But I have to vent.

I love having an integrated RSS reader.  It makes keeping up with so many blogs really easy; plus, I don't have to have a separate program open to keep up with everything.

But.

(Pardon the CAPSLOCK OF RAGE.)

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S GOOD AND HOLY, STOP REFRESHING OR CLEARING YOUR MEMORY OR WHATEVER THE FRELL IT IS YOU'RE DOING EVERY 20 MINUTES THAT MAKES ME HAVE TO DISPLAY ALL MY RSS FEEDS AGAIN JUST TO MAKE YOU REALIZE I'VE READ THE STUPID THINGS.

Ahem.

I feel better.

Or, I will, until that first bookmark folder suddenly has a (58) or a (12) or a (248) next to it.

More Boggling

Another random Discovery Health show.

(What?  I was sick.  I fell asleep when I got home (I made it until 8:15 or so at school before I realized I was being ridiculous and put in for a sub) and slept for three straight hours and then laid in bed for about five more.)

This firefighter is in a fire and -- long story short -- ends up with cortical blindness.

And the narrator, in this deeply sympathetic voice, says that now she -- an avid reader -- "can't do something she loved: read."

Or something to that effect.

Um.

Braille?

Audiobooks?

I mean, I know not everything is available, and that does suck.

But...she can't read?  At all?

Perspective, Part 2

So, Discovery Health is on for background noise, and then I hear this:  "It's one of the deadliest bacteria around -- responsible for over 50 deaths each year."

Which, yeah, sucks for the midwestern town that got hit with it.

But you gotta stop and say: 50 deaths?  Tell that to most of the Third World.

Illness update:  Fever is mostly gone (though it made a reappearance tonight).  I'm planning to go to school tomorrow, because I was actually conscious most of today, and I'm worried about the chaos that will ensue if I don't.

But that means I'll probably crash -- hard -- the moment I get home tomorrow.

Also?  I curse my internal clock and circadian rhythms, which are absolutely certain that it is not 9:25.

And -- if it's Daylight Savings Time from March until November -- No-freaking-vember! -- (that's 8 months, folks)...isn't that, kinda by default, our "Standard" time?  By virtue of being 2/3 of the year?  Shouldn't the blessed few months that are normal be, like, Daylight Shortened Time or something like that?

Meh

Not much progress in the illness front.  No wonder most kids who had this were out at least two days.  Blech.

Also?  There's not a whole lot of visible symptoms except sneezing and the occasional cough -- the main tip-off seems to be the fever (which is not responding very well to Tylenol).  Makes me grateful I can articulate, "I feel like I've been hit by a bus."  No wonder parents were sending their kiddos to school (except for the fever).

Hope that made sense.

Yuck

This cold sucks. Take your vitamins, folks.

Holy Crazy People, Batman!

I don't know what's worse...that someone came up with the idea, or that people actually do it.

Appropos of Nothing

A while back, I posted my incredulousness that a woman was more perturbed that an upcoming surgery might paralyze her than the notion that whatever the surgery was for might kill her.

Well, I watch a lot of science, nerdy type shows. In fact, my suggestions list on my TiVo is full of astronomy specials, history channel specials, and Extreme Engineering (Sky City sounds way cool, and is likely the future of cities).

At one point, I saw a special about a woman who had been born with a condition that required her to have both legs amputated at a very early age. It was...meh. There are lots of more interesting things out there, but when there's nothing else on, there's nothing else on.

Then I saw a preview for some upcoming shows that featured the same woman, who gets around by pushing herself on a skateboard.

She says, "I couldn't imagine being confined to a wheelchair."

Putting aside my issues with the phrase "confined to a wheelchair" for a bit, I have to boggle at that comment. What on earth would the difference be between using a skateboard for mobility and a wheelchair, besides eighteen inches or so?

But, I mean, really, how ingrained in our culture must this notion of wheelchair=bad be for someone who already uses alternative means of transportation (a means that, one could argue, is more unusual-looking than using a wheelchair) to reject it out of hand?

Further googling led to a few people who reacted to the documentary with admiration -- she can drive a car! She has a job! How amazing that she doesn't "allow" herself to be convinced to use a wheelchair!

Um.

Here's a bit of logic for you.

A wheelchair is a four-wheeled device upon which one sits. One propels oneself either manually or with electronic assistance. One uses it to get from one place to another. One does face the inconvenience of being at stomach-level with most people without disabilities.

A skateboard is a four-wheeled device upon which one generally stands, but upon which the aforementioned woman sits. One propels oneself manually. One uses it to get from one place to another. One does face the inconvenience of being at knee-level with most people without disabilites.

I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

It's a thing. It's the short-distance version of a car.

Think about it. You could, if sufficiently motivated, walk anywhere you can go in a car -- but it would take you a heck of a lot longer, use up more energy, and is just not practical.

It gets you from one place to another.

That's all a wheelchair is. It's a thing. It's a device.

And, for many people with physical disabilites, it's a liberating device that's the difference between going places and being stuck in bed at all times.

How pervasive must ableism really be, in our culture, for someone to internalize wheelchair = bad to the degree that a skateboard is the only option, to the extent that she can't even imagine using a wheelchair at all, when she's essentially using a short, homemade wheelchair to begin with?

How pervasive must ableism really be, for people's reaction to the documentary be admiration that she can drive?

No wonder we debate things like the Ashley Treatment. No wonder children like Katie McCarron and Annie Marshall and Tracy Latimer have been killed.

If we view using an assistive device (for the record, I use several: glasses, the ocassional ankle brace, and a specialty keyboard, among others) as OMG THE END OF THE WORLD...

...then people automatically think Ashley's life should be about her parents' convenience, that Annie and Tracy's life was pointless, sad, and hopeless.

It shouldn't even be a question. Of course Ashley is entitled to grow and mature and experience life as an adult. Of course Katie was entitled to life, however it would or would not have been affected by autism. Of course Tracy and Annie deserved to live, to be happy and engaged by whatever made them happy and engaged.

But we can't even discuss these as a society because the majority of people -- likely people who think they have no contact with someone with a disability (I say think because they likely know someone with learning disabilites, someone somewhere on the autism spectrum, someone with dyslexia, and so forth) -- can't even get past the use of a wheelchair.

And what's worse: someone who has disabilities can't even get past the use of a wheelchair.

It's...ridiculous doesn't even cover it.

Sick Days

I am not one to begrudge someone their sick days.

But if Aide J wasn't (1) vomiting all day, (2) delirious with fever, or (3) harboring something extremely contagious, like, say, ebola, she is On My List.

Last Monday, Aide S told me she'd be out this Monday.  She and her family were going to Lake Arrowhead for the weekend.

Okay, fine...put in for a sub...we'll survive.

Then, late last week, Aide T was not feeling well.  The doctor said she had to have a colonoscopy.

Okay, fine.  We'll sur -- it's on Monday?!  The same Monday Aide S is going to be out?

Aide T, bless her, tried to reschedule but couldn't do so.

So I packed up my stuff for today, and slipped a tape of The Jungle Book in my backpack, since I knew it was something Mr. Voice would pay attention to.

I didn't expect to have to use it, really -- we actually survived pretty well the last time anything similar happened.  'Course, we didn't have Mr. Voice then.

Then I get to school and ask if the positions had been filled with subs.

"Aides S and T have," our office clerk B says, "but Aide J's position is still open."

I - uh - eh - urrr - aide - ... -- WHAT?!?!

I was already not in the best of moods, because the muscle in the back of my leg is STILL kinda cramped (though it comes and goes now; it's not constant like it was).  Last year, I probably would have taken a sick day myself -- though not on a day with 2 people out -- to keep it slathered in Icy Hot, but instead, I took some Motrin, slapped on an Icy Hot patch (which had fallen off by 8:00), and grinned and bore it.

Incidentally, we survived.  If we hadn't had Mr. Voice, we might have even made it through a normal day, but he was the straw the broke the camel's back.  We got agenda books, journals, social studies, and Swiss Family Robinson done, but we also watched Jungle Book and played board games.

At one point, though, I was juggling Superhero, M, and Bulldozer successfully, so that's what I'm hanging onto for today.

Things I Learned This Weekend

1. Parts of Disneyland's fireworks are in stereo.  I learned this because I was actually near the speakers this time, instead of off to the side, either at the Plaza Inn or Carnation Gardens.
2. The beginning of the fireworks -- the parts largely stolen from Disney World's Wishes (though I think it was at DL before the current show, as well) -- are an elaborate magic trick-like diversion.  They are trying to keep you from looking at the top of the Matterhorn, where Tinkerbell and her harness come out of the gaping hole at the top of the mountain.
3. Tinkerbell must de-harness herself somewhere on top of the castle after the finale, because...
4. ...if you sit around Main Street after the fireworks, while they're playing "Remember When," you can see them retract Tink's empty harness back into the big, gaping hole in the top of the Matterhorn.
5. Pillows can tear.
6. I have a soft spot for "McKay and Mrs. Miller," almost entirely for the throwaway bit where England-born and Canadian-raised Amanda Tapping's Sam is amused by Rodney and Jeannie's Canadian pronunciation of "sorry."  For the record, the Canada is very audible in her speech (to me, the accent nerd), and there are even hints of the British.
7. It hurts to rip an Icy Hot patch off the back of your knee.
8. All those times I put AFOs on kids with CP whose muscles were tight?  I'm deeply, deeply sorry -- if my last two days' experience of having one muscle inexplicably tighten to the point that straightening my leg (thus lengthening the muscle) is painful.  Seriously.  Deeply sorry.

Meanwhile, I had the interesting experience of reading an article about cochlear implants just after reading a story where a character was considering (under duress) cochlear implants.  Funny  how life and fandom collide sometimes, eh?

Reading Comprehension

I did not watch the Oscars, mostly because I hadn't seen any of the nominated movies.  (Sad, I know, but when movies give you headaches, they're just not worth it.)

I do plan on seeing 10,000 B.C., 'cause it's by the guys who did Stargate and Independence Day.  Especially now that there are more trailers, and they are showing the pyramids.  I haven't made up my mind about the now-delayed Star Trek, and I'm sure I'll see The X-Files, but that'll probably be it until Half-Blood Prince comes out.

Anyhow, I did flip onto it in time to see the People We've Lost montage, and was interested to note that I recognized very few people this year -- probably because many people were behind-the-scenes folks.

I was a little taken aback when Roy Scheider was not shown, but, being a reasonable TiVo owner, I rewound to the beginning, intent to look for him.

And then I noticed that the montage was from January '07 to January '08.  Roy Scheider died in February.

So, I went, "Hmph," and went about life, figuring that he'd show up next year.

And then I read this, on imdb.com:

Some analysts were suggesting that in the haste to mount Sunday night's 80th Annual Academy Awards telecast following the writers' strike, the show's writers failed to research their material sufficiently. That might have accounted for the omission of some names from the annual list of the "departed." Several writers immediately noticed the fact that Roy Scheider, who died on Feb. 10, was overlooked, as was Brad Renfro who died on January 15. A spokeswoman for the Academy said that Scheider's death came too recently to be included and of Renfro, she said, "Unfortunately we cannot include everyone." (my emphasis)

Okay, the Brad Renfro thing...whatever.

But I find it very, very ironic that somebody complaining of "lack of research" didn't include in their own research...I dunno...watching the montage and reading the dates?

Spring Fever

I love my 4th, 5th, and 6th graders. I really do. For better or for worse, it's when a lot of things begin to click -- particularly in the late fifth-early sixth graders.

There's just one problem.

The giant cloud of hormones that begins to hover over the room right around this time of year.

Superhero came from home upset but pulled himself together. The Boss was flouncing around. Sleeping Beauty was playing dumb all morning, waiting for people to do stuff for her, and then swinging her jacket around and saying "Toro! Toro! Toro!" to Aide S. Bulldozer was grumpy (but he has a rash all over his body; I'd be grumpy too).

And PH spent all afternoon wailing in his Ridiculous Baby Voice. I mean, all afternoon. Aide S would get him simmered, then he'd ramp right back up again.

However, we continued to work on our presidential primaries book -- we've just now finished with Super Tuesday (yikes) -- and it's been a huge success.

(I'll take what I can get.)

Angel can name (as in, I hold up a picture and ask, "Who is this?") Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John McCain, Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee. She just today identified that Hillary Clinton is a Democrat. We're working on "Republican."

(She also came in today and said, "Did you watch the news on Friday?"

"Probably," I said. "Did you?"

"Yes!" She grinned, all excited. "They said Obama has the most points."

"You mean from the primaries?"

"Uh huh."

"What about Hillary Clinton?"

"She has to get more points or she'll lose."

Squee!!!!

Then, as we were filling out our books today, we came across Mitt Romney several times (still Super Tuesday, ya know).

"But Miss Spoowriter?" she said, frowning. "He quit."

(I, at no point, had told the kids that. Ever.)

"You're right; he did. But these happened before he quit."

"Why he quit? He won a lot."

"You're right; he did win a lot. I'm not sure why he quit."

Double squee!)

PH can name Barack Obama and can find Hillary Clinton.

The Boss and Sleeping Beauty can find a picture of Barack Obama without having one to match, and can name him from his picture.

Bulldozer can identify Hillary Clinton as "The Girl" and can match pictures of all the candidates.

Superhero and M can find Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton versus each other, with prompts (e.g. "Find Hillary Clinton -- the girl.")

Mr. Voice and Elastigirl are both finding the girl consistently, given both blank distracters and other candidates as distracters.

And we've only been doing this for a couple of weeks! Woo-hoo!

Dueling Banjos

I have come up with a nickname for New Boy C all by myself.  (Yay me.)

Y'see, there's this guy at Disneyland that comes on the loudspeaker for announcements:  "Ladies and gentlemen, in just 15 minutes the skies above Sleeping Beauty Castle...."  I call him Mr. Voice.

Mr. Voice has that kind of deep announcer voice that just...well, grabs your attention.

New Boy C is now Mr. Voice.

Mr. Voice -- the school one, not the Disney one -- likes to be loud.  In fact, the more he doesn't want to do something, the louder he gets.

Mr. Voice also has a great sense of humor.  He was fiddling with the volume on our teaching game the other day, and would chuckle every time I asked him to turn it back down.  I don't much care what psych and IQ testing and even his school performance says (psych testing is skewed against folks with autism anyway): this is one bright cookie.

Anyway, he figured out that M copies everybody.  So today, he made a noise, kind of a loud grunt.  M copied him.  His eyes lit up and he grinned.

He made another noise, a bit louder.  M, now beaming herself, copied him.

Sometimes it was vocalizations (noises, grunts, squeals), sometimes it was scripting, but back and forth it went, louder and louder and louder.

It was Dueling Banjos: The Screaming Version.

If it hadn't made the rest of the kids (and me) crazy, it'd have been funny.  As it was, apparently my behavior management mojo deserted me today, and I had a hard time redirecting either of them.

By the time I went to the office to sign my 2-week attendance paper, I was twitching and losing words...our poor office clerk had to decipher,  "I have to...sign the...the...the thing."

But, at least my day wasn't as dramatic as Cat's.  (Sorry, Cat.)

Another Boring Day

In history, not at school. Those are not boring. Though I'd take one day of borning. Just for fun.

Also? The clouds are making me miss the eclipse. Boo.

Perspective

Like most people, I occasionally use my blog as a place to vent and whine, especially when I don't have time to write creatively.  And I probably will again.

But for my 400th post tonight, I figured I'd go a different route.

I was working on next week's homework on Sparky Jr., my aging PC.  It gave me the predictable "OMG YOU'RE OUT OF RAM" error, followed by the "I WILL NOW USE YOUR HARD DRIVE (a.k.a. "page file") AS FAKE RAM; AS A RESULT, YOUR COMPUTER WILL SLOW TO A CRAWL," followed by the "OMG, I USED ALL YOUR DISK SPACE FOR THE PAGE FILE; PLEASE DELETE FILES SO I CAN USE MORE."

In other words, Sparky Junior is sick.

(Sounds like whining, I know -- just go with me here.)

Instead of getting annoyed, I thought about how my shower doesn't shock me, there are no alligators outside my door, and I can count on electricity any time of the day.

(Huh???? You are now asking.  I know.)

A while back, I mentioned, I think, my surprise at discovering that the girl on Signing Time was none other than the little girl I met when I first started working as an aide, who realized -- at the age of maybe 5 -- that although I sign some, I had no idea what the other kids were saying, and slowly told me her name was L - E - A - H.

Well, I discovered that Leah's mom Rachel has a blog, right around the time she was preparing a trip to Ghana (either with the help of, or in association with, Signs of Hope International -- I forget which).

Yep, Ghana.

Now that they're back, Rachel has been posting a trip report of their trip to Ghana.  It's fascinating, and more than a little sobering.

And then I read Day 8, which contained an account of their tour of a castle built during the slave trade.  They toured places where slaves had been kept, and where difficult slaves were kept.  I don't want to "spoil" it, but suffice it to say, Leah's reaction to the whole thing -- especially her matter-of-fact declaration (reported by her mom, but still) of what she would have done in the same circumstances -- was...well, thought-provoking is putting it mildly.

But it makes you think.  Yeah, Sparky Jr. is about to self-destruct, and, yeah, I've been trying really hard to come down with the flu for the last two weeks...but I'm not going to be shoved into a dark cell and holed up until I die.  I don't have to worry about being eaten by an alligator while I go to get my tooth brush.

I don't even have to worry about my shower shocking me.

We take a lot -- a lot -- for granted, and I think it's good once in a while to think about that.

Memo to Self

If toner dust explodes all over you when you open the box, it's a
pretty clear sign that the toner cartridge is defective.

1. Sigh.

2. Ewwww.